Approaching new year: time to reflect and plan

We're quickly approaching new year, after a nice Christmas.
Economic ambiance is depressed, strange and ficicult to predict. It's now not only a finantial crisis but also an economic one and the outlook is pretty dim. Most reputed analists say 09 and 2010 will be tough years.
Though, if you go out to the streets these days, most people are taking advantage of sales and heaviliy shopping! Hardly the picture you'd expect to see in times of deep crisis. People still have money on their pockets and have a job...
What's going to happen?
Will we go through a couple of difficult years, with companies tightening their belts and stock markets further correcting with recovery in 2011?
Or will it be really serious with more layoffs, unemployment and 5-7 years economic depression?

As the end of 2008 approaches, I'm taking a few days off. These days are great to just stop for a bit, look back and look forward.
Look back to see what I have done and achieved, what I'm proud of, in which ways and where I have evolved. You gain a lot from doing this, as most times in day to day you just press ahead focusing on what you want, never congratulating yourselve on what you've achieved. End of the year is a great time to look back and write your balance sheet! Write down how you feel about the year ending.

This will help you understand what you really want for 2009. Write it down as well. Write clear smart goals, that you fully want from the bottom of your heart and being. Objectives help you act smarter and more effective/efficient. They will be my guiding light throughout the year.

This period between 08 and 09 is a great time to do it, personally. As Christmas is gone and the mood is good, I'm off work and it's easier to truly listen to my heart. I'm more relaxed and it's a good time to reflect.

Meditation

I'm back to meditating again, by the end of the day I put in a few minutes.
The effects are visible. I become much more aware of my thoughts, and through this I become aware of some really unrealistic negative thinking that I can then stop, as I clearly can see and rate it as unrealistic.
And by stopping some negative thinking, I start to get into better moods and have much better days, more efficient and productive.

The importance of sleep

Been quite tired in the last couple of months. Pressure at work is high, as the business is having a rough year and more job cuts are widely expected (and will happen).

In the last few weeks, as the clock nears 5 or 6pm I find myself really tired! Even if I still have quite a lot of things to do, I don't seem to find the energy to keep at it and tackle them.

For 1 day last week and also yesterday, I get home, grab something to eat and after I lay down in bed at around 8pm just to read a few quick lines on some book I... doze off! And after waking up a couple of hours later, I just change and go into bed for the rest of the night. The following day, I find that I really get a lot more done, have a much more positive atitude and find problems much easier to deal with - the solution just pops up a lot quicker!

Sleep is hugely important. In the daily stress and pressure, so many times we fail to listen to our body, ignoring that it needs the downtime to recharge. And even if we push ourselves on that day to get more done, it won't be effective as the following day we will be less energized and won't be able to get as much done.

Also, it is important to switch off when you get home. But that is another topic. And I confess it is not one that I am any good at, but definitely one that I need to improve on!!!

Effects of economic downturn... II

I had a chat with HR, it is now confirmed that my team will need to loose a 1 person. It's tough but on the positive side, I already have 1 person who wants to move, as there is an expatriation opportunity for the partner. It's a good solution as it makes it a lot easier to manage it, no dramas or issues or impact on team morale.

The times are difficult. My recipe for such times will be to focus. What are the 3 or 4 key things we need to achieve? What are the key projects we need to deliver on time and in full? Come heaven or hell, we will get them done and delivered.
Focus.

I'll take these difficult times as an opportunity to get my team even closer and working hard together towards common goals. We'll bond and together we will win.

Inspirational

I want to live many years full of life... rather than a life full of years.

Effects of economic downturn...

My company is having a poor year... having planned to grow about 3% we're gonna find ourselves declining about 4% or more.
Being a listed company, this has to have impacts, as shareholders want to see changes. So, the pressure is mounting. The MD has already commited to reduce the number of employees.

I am finding the department that I'm in charge of under pressure. I've heard a couple of comments about how we actually might not be here in a few months. I already know for sure that I will have to reduce the headcount. It seems to me we are on the razors edge. We need to show results, concrete objective results quickly and consistently.

I've been doing this for 6 months and am only now really driving things and making things happen. I have a junior team but that works hard, with good attitude and a will to make a difference.
But unfortunately I am also a junior member on the board and there are a few there who are playing their cards well in order to make sure the cuts are coming from other departments rather than their own. Which is obviously only natural.
Most annoying to me is to see the young people in my team toiling hard everyday, working to deliver concrete specific and objective work while in other departments... people are using their energy in influencing games and playing games to ensure others look bad and will therefore be more likely to go than them.

I'm taking it as a learning curve. The part that really hurts me the most is regarding my team. I've been building a good solid career throughout the years and I know that one way or another if I have to go, I will find a good job. But the people in my team are still in the begining of their careers and this can hurt them, scar them a bit. The part that hurts is that they actually are good workers, with good attitude and will to learn.

In the end, I hope that justice happens. I believe that if you work hard and play fair, good things will inevitably come to you. Though you do have to go through rough patches, that will only make you stronger.

Managing people

It's been a great experience managing people. I have managed people in the past, but now taking a team of 5 is a different ball game.
It's been interesting in the last few days with 1 of them. She is roughly the same age as me and as been in the company for the same ammount of time, though not progressing as much.
She is now in charge of a project that is due to be presented to a larger team in a few days.
She is a clever girl and has good experience, but lacks in attitude. She can do some work but when faced with difficulties, just goes negative. And most of the times goes to people for help, so that people do things for her.
As her boss, I have been supportive in the last days but am now finding that I need to take a step back. I am now letting her go negative and start complaining, but letting her on her own. If it goes wrong, it will go wrong and my image will be damaged as well but... she will learn responsability and will learn not to rely so heavily on others - who have been doing a lot of work for her.

I am going to get an image of 'bad guy' with some people for this but... if I keep helping her things will go well but she will not progress professionally, she will not take any responsability and she will not get out of her confort zone. If I play 'bad guy' and make her work and 'suffer' a bit, I will get 'bad press' but definitely make her a better worker.

Definitely going for the 2nd option.

Relations at the top

As mentioned, for the 1st time in my career I am in the board of a company. And it's been quite a learning experience.

Previously I had spend 8 years in a division of the company where the culture was outstanding. Although I have worked across different countries, the culture was pretty much 'work hard, play hard' but with a great sense of team and huge dynamics and speed.

In my new role in a new division I am appaled at the team spirit.
In the board, at least one of my colleagues is more concerned and focused on doing his internal work. On finding other peoples mistakes and exposing them or making his mistakes look like somebody else's... And he's getting away at doing a poor job at what he should really be doing, which is being the sales director.

I am struggling with this. I have been raised in a culture where the team comes first and you support everyone in the team. Together the team would overcome everything. Deal together with all the problems.
Now, I am finding that to survive in the current job, I need to just focus on doing my job so that it is unattackable and not go out of my way to support anyone, as this could backfire.

I can't expect any support from anyone in the board as we're all suspicious of each other and feel we can get stabbed by a colleague very easily.

I can see that this is the way to operate, if I want to survive. But in my mind, this isn't definitely the way to work, we'll never achieve outstanding results like this. We'll never do grand things like this.

I need to figure out a way to deal with this. I don't want to become a cynic like all the others. I want to believe you can work in a cooperative trusting way.

Getting things done

Since I've started working I've managed my tasks either by ordering them in A-B-C priorities or under the S.Covey's 4 quadrants (Urgent-Important / Urgent-Not Important / Not Urgent-Important / Not Urgent-Not Important) and to be honest it has worked just fine.

Now, since I've moved jobs and am managing a team of 5 junior people and am finding myself needing to give them advice and direction on all of their projects as well as my own workload, I've found myself getting more anxious and stressed, as I can't ever seem to be on top of my actions.

Every morning I'm doing my to-do list, that I never manage to complete...

A week or so ago, browsing over the internet, I came across a couple of articles on David Allen's system 'Getting Things Done'... It got me interested and I have now been reading the book for the last few days.
And I must say I'm having a few of those wow moments, almost life changing...!!

It's early as I am still reading and only taking the 1st steps in implementation. But already a few eye openers:
- we keep our minds busy with the tasks that need to be done... building stress and anxiety as we are not doing them. And there's only so much we can keep on our minds. and, as the book says: 'This constant, unproductive preocupation with all the things we have to do is the single largest consumer of time and energy.'
- so it's key to get everything out, on to an organization system that you can trust and rely on and that you'll visit frequently.
- other key learning is that it is key to define clear next action steps for all the projects/commitments we have. Lots of times we don't progress projects and just worry about them because... we don't know what the next action step is. Adn if only think about the projects as they come up and define the next physical action we can take, then we get it going. And as we do this action, the next one should become clear. And it will quickly progress towards completion.

I'm still reading... I'll share more findings in the next posts, as I progress through the book! But I'm really really impressed!

The importance of objectives and also deadlines

In the last few weeks, I have been living in the adrenaline of launching a few new products into the market. The way my company is set up, we tend to do it twice in the year.
The last few weeks were tough, as it was the first meeting I was at since I've taken the new job and my team was responsible for launching quite a few products, most of them in fact. It was very stressful as a lot of things got complicated in the run up to the launch and required a lot of work and difficult conversations and also late nights.
The day of the meeting was good. I presented to a large group of people, about 220 which was good. Presenting is something I really really like, I get a real kick out of it, and of speaking to people before and after my presentations at these kind of meetings. I got very good feedback, people enjoyed it, I do thinkk that I actually do it quite well. I should try and incorporate more of it into my job, as it is definitely one of my strenghts. I did it better than the md, or the sales director, or the marketing director.

Today is the monday after the meeting and I am now struggling! The thing is I don't have that clear target that was the launch meeting to work for. That was a clear target that I was working towards to. Now I do have objectives but they are not that pressing or clear. I could feel and imagine or view the launch meeting.

It is critical to have clear objectives. To have something to work towards to. To have big objectives that then you can organise your working day around them. And these objectives need to have deadlines, otherwise you will progress quite slowly towards them and probably get demotivated half way through.

Action:
- think through what I really want to achieve in the next 3 months (until the end of the year)
- break them down into smaller actions
- Put clear deadlines in to each action and objective

Learnings at the top

Since the last 6 months, I have assumed a board role. In the past 10 years of my career, I have done a variety of jobs in different countries, most of them manager jobs but still functional, and with a functional boss that I report into.

As I find myself reporting to the MD and part of the board, there are huge differences. It is just a different ball game, and certainly less enjoyable, at least in the begining, until I don't get used to it and am still the rookie...

- you don't have a close boss to report into, that will guide you and cover you
- when there are problems, most board members worry about pushing them and quickly placing the blame on other board member
- most of my time and concerns are now to be spent on managing these relations and making sure my teams work is perfectly done by the books (even if this takes more time and makes the company less efficient and customer focused)... Now only in parts of the day am I finding some time to progress the work of my team!

I know that it is my first role like this and I shouldn't really generalise. I also know that in difficult times, like the current ones, with accute economic pressure and decresing sales, these situations become much more visible. I also know that I work in a multinational and smaller companies are for sure simpler and more straightforward.

But nevertheless, it is a different life.
For the time being, I will experience it and learn from it. Later I will decide if I want to cope with this and progress or look at my career in a different way, probably in a different place.

Stop and organize

The last few days have been stressful. As we near the begining of a sales quarter, and specially on a year that is difficult in terms of sales results, the pression mounts significantly!
With the ammount of tasks and pressure on my time, I am struggling to fund the time to stop and meditate or to organize and prioritize tasks. Unfortunately, this immediately begins to show in the quality of my work.
Definitely it is a better use of time to stop for 20 minutes or so and get organized, define priorites, define what you will do and what you won't. I'll recover these minutes over and over again.

Productivity Tip

In the last couple of weeks, I've been doing something that I've found really helpful in getting me to be more productive.
Usually I have a list of all my tasks, of all the to-dos, and then I break them down into A's, B's and C's, according to the importance/urgence.
What I've also started doing now is, 1st thing in the morning, before anything else, I set the 2 achievements for the day. The 2 things that no matter what, I really need to get done.
And usually I start by doing these 2 things, progressing them.

What usually happens is that I get them done and this gives me a good feeling of achievement and builds confidence. Gives me the strength and self confidence to then go on and tackle all the other activities on my list, and on top of it all, on a good mood, as I feel that I am being productive!!

Benefits of massage

Back from holidays. It was a good break, not typically relaxing as I went for for city breaks instead of beach but definitely a change of set.

After 1 week away, I wasn't really relaxing... and you know what really did it for me?
Walking down the street, in an impulse I went for one of those places where they give you 10 minutes massages... By the end of the massage I barely could speak and at night all I could think of was 'bed please!'. I had a fantastic night sleep, like a rock and woke up really energised though a bit sore. The rest of the week I kept sleeping really well and feeling increasingly relaxed. It made me realize how much my body was stressed (I didn't really know until I started to feel it relax).

Definitely I will do it again. I've done massages before, the difference about this one was that it was really quite hard, aggressive almost, but really perfect for relaxing your muscles!

Getting out there

I've had a friend from overseas stay over in the last week or so.
The funny thing is that having this friend over has made me go out of my routines and rediscover some things that I enjoy!
In the last months (or more!) I now realize I have kind of fallen into routines... Yes I do go out with friends, yes I keep on doing a lot of sport, yes I do go away on weekends, yes I do travel... but sometimes I just stay at home at night. And there are some things that I used to enjoy in the past and that I don't do anymore - just because I thought it would be boring.

With my friend over, I had to show her round and it made me go back to old haunts that I used to love and... I realised that I still love them and really enjoy being there!!!! I had just been thinking 'been there, done that' and thinking how boring it would be but... there's nothing like going out and doing it.

Smell of success

Again, some positives coming through. The European MD of my company, who has been recently appointed, is coming over for a visit. The MD of my division asked me to prepare a presentation about the division, big figures and also key achievements and issues/opportunities to tackle.
I put quite a lot of work into it:
1. I organised myself well, sumarizing the presentation at hand and all the info I needed to get in an excel spreadsheet, like I do for projects.
2. I then chased people early for the stuff that I needed.
3. And I worked on the pres, I really put some effort behind it. Meaning couple of late nights.
The results were really good. My MD really loved it. A couple of guys from the board were also there and they were really impressed, to the point of making positive comments to me.
We then went on to show it to the country MD who was impressed to the point of sending it to other divisions for them to use as benchmark.
Great stuff, made me feel great.
And also showed me a couple of things.
+ it's good to work on things that you do well. I have always been good at presentations, and when given this opportunity, I jumped on it, as I am cravin a bit of success at this point.
+ putting work in usually brings you results.

To top a really nice day, the country MD came up with the proposition of showing of 3 of my projects in the meeting room where the meeting will take place! Just what the doctor ordered...

Getting back to sleep with the help of meditation and NLP

I've read bits and pieces about NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming - though I'm not a great believer, I can see the usefulness and merit behind most of the techniques.
Tonight I had a great experience on how they can work!
I woke up at 4am. I arrived late yesterday from a long weekend away, and I guess I was still a bit revved up from the flight and a bit anxious from going back to work.
I did the usual stuff I do to get me back to sleep: ate some cookies, then read for a bit... but to no avail. In fact, I was getting more anxious, as I knew I had a lot of work to cover the following day.
Then I tried something: I forced myself to take deep long breaths. I wanted to take at least 6 in a row. It wasn't easy (!), sometimes I got to 2 or 3 and my mind wandered to one of my problems! But as I was patient and eventually managed to calm the breathing, slowly I noticed parts of my body releasing tension. One of my hands had a really tight grip that started to loosen up... and so on. Simultaneously my mind started to get a lot calmer and rested. In a few minutes, I was getting back to sleep!
It's a great learning! Basically it takes a bit from meditation, the deep breathing to refocus and quieten the mind; and also a bit from NLP.
One of the most popular techniques of NLP is the act as if. For example, if you want to be more confident, act as if you are confident. Stand up straight, look people in the eyes, and so on. And then you will start to feel more confident.

In this case, though my mind was overactive, I started breathing as if I was calm... and the mind soon followed!

Great quote

"When work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery."
Maxim Gorky (1868-1936), Russian novelist, short-story writer, dramatist

New beginings

I am just over 3 months and the current job and yesterday finally had the feeling that I am coming to grips with it and can start laying my rules!
Basically 2 things drove this feeling:
Yesterday we had a category review meeting, basically all the categories were presenting their grwoth plans for the next 3 years to the board, for discussion and ultimately resource allocation.
1st, I felt totally confortable presenting the stuff I am managing and it was great seeing that the comments from the board were exactly in line with what we me and my team have been discussing! Also, I felt in my depth in all the discussions that were happening. I remeber my first meetings in this new job, where half the conversations I did not get at all!!! It's a great feeling now.
2nd, I was in a chat with a group of people in one the breaks and found myself strongly defending arguments in a couple of subjects. Meaning I was confident and new enough about the subject to be doing this. Knowing myself, I only do it when I know what I am talking about, no point in making up just for the sake of shining a bit.

It's a great feeling.
And a learning too. It's easy to put ourselves under pressure in the begining of a new job, but there will always be a need for time to soak in all the information and the new reality.
You need to give yourself time! Plan for it. Plan time to adapt.

Competence

I was reading yesterday a book from an entrepreneur, where he said (about one of his first jobs) that he was enjoyinng because he was good at it.
And I couldn't stop thinking how true this is.

You enjoy doing something when you are competent at it. It's good to be and feel competent at something. It's good to have people asking for your help and advice or admiring what you are doing.
It's good to feel that you are doing a really good job.

Obviously there are passions as well, things that you get easily engrossed in and as you do them, time just flies without you noticing. These are the things that you should be doing to be on purpose!

But it is also great to do things you are competent at.

The learning for me is that it is absolutely normal that when you start a new job, the 1st months will be difficult. Because you will be dealing with people that are doing it for years and are much more confortable. Because you are in a learning curve, and are not competent yet. Because people expect a lot and it will be difficult in the beggining to meet and even more so to surpass expectations.
But that is normal.
When changing a job, it is important to plan:
- what you want to achieve on the 1st 90 days; detailed plan of what to do, who to go out with, what things to understand, who to meet
- where you will be (what level of knowledge do you want to have); what things you expect to have achieved by then

It's important to do this plan to put things in perspective.
It's also probably a great idea to share it with your boss, to set his expectations as well.
But most of all, it's important to you, in order to limit the pressure you put in yourself!

Keep going strong

Hey, it's now Sunday and I've been doing the early morning exercise for a week!
It's great as it gives me the feeling that I am doing something that is good for me, and straight at the begining of the day.
I do short cardio and stretching exercises, just to get the body moving, to get the body to wake up and start burning calories.

A good start

Since 2 days ago, I am waking up a bit earlier and doing a very short exercising routine in the morning! I drink water in the middle of this very short workout and I also have a bit more time to eat breakfast, prepare clothing and leave a bit earlier avoiding traffic.
The 1st day was absolutely amazing! I got to the office and without even realising I was much more energised and got huge ammounts of things done.
The fact that I exercised got my body and mind to wake up a lot earlier and be sharper earlier on.
Also, most of the times my mind was negative from the early beggining 'I'm late!', 'I've got shit loads to do', 'I'm having a shit breakfast'... but with a bit more time for myself I feel I am treating myself, taking good care of me. I feel valued and this generates positive thoughts.
Definitely a better way to start the day that can have an impact throughout the rest of the day.

It's important to start the day well

Do you know those days when you get out of bed and smash your toe against a door and then... the all day seems to go badly from there?
Or when you wake up feeling greatly restored, have a really nice wholesome breakfast and you feel great up for the rest of the day (never minding the traffic or the mad demanding boss at the office)?
Sometimes a good start of the day can have an impact on the rest of it.
A good idea is to wake up 20 minutes earlier and do something for me, something I really want to do for myself and that gives me pleasure, something I like to do...
It surelly makes a difference from waking up late, eating breakfast on the go and cursing through traffic as you're running late into the office.

Continued

And what I've learned from that book is linked somewhat to what some now very popular books like 'The Secret' from Rhonda Byrne are preaching... What you think is what you attract, focus on positive thinking.

Interesting, the insight is quite simple, be aware of your thougths! If you are aware, you will often realize that most of the negative thougths are quite unrealistic! Sometimes we paint some negative scenarios in our minds that are high unlikely to ever happen!
On the positive side, these thoughts are useful as their purpose is to protect us from hurt, from wrong decisions, etc. But on the other side, most of them are unrealistic and will only prevent us from doing things, taking action, taking control of our life and moving it forward!

Practical benefits of meditation

I am reading the book 'The leaders way: business, budhism and happiness in an interconnected world', by the Dalai Lama and the business consultand Laurens van den Muyzenberg. Quite a good book, exploring the touching points between budhism and business and how business leaders can benefit from budhist learnings.

I took out quite an interesting learning yesterday from this book, that helped me see meditation in a more practical way. Meditation is presented as a way to reach more mindfulness. Mindfulness meaning greater awareness of your thoughts. And if you are more aware of your thoughts, you can acknowledge the negative ones and therefore begin to erradicate them. Negative thoughts are damaging.

I find it pretty cool as it gives meditation a practical spin. I am quite motivated by objectives, and having this awareness of how meditation can practically help is really helpful for me.

The Power of Thinking

Thinking is powerful. Thinking are the lenses through which we see the world.
I have been a bit down lately, letting things get to me and feeling demotivated at work. But in the last couple of days, everytime I notice a negative thought, I replace it immediately with a positive one, I repeat inside my head something positive about me, or something that I am grateful for. For example 'I appreciate myself and I am doing a good job'.
And after a couple of days I can tell you that the impact is absolutely powerful! I feel happier, lighter and more self confident. Life seems easier as I don't let the bad stuff just run around in my mind creating havoc.
The only requirement is that you do need to be aware of your own thoughts, so tat you can identify the negative destructive ones. Probably meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts.

Great quote

"Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow."
James Dean

Meditation and Life purpose

In the last year or so I have attended a meditation course and have dabbled at meditation. I like it quite a lot, for me personally the most useful part is to listen to myself more. Be more aware of the voices I have inside me and the impact they have. More awareness and living more in the moment.
It's been really useful, it also helps me to know more. And sometimes in the middle of meditation I just get random thoughts that are kind of wow moments. Either self knowledge or some solutions or things that I can do.
Recently though I have been to a workshop called Big Mind Big Heart. It's a process, based on meditation but very practical. It's more like a game where you recognize all the 'players' or voices inside you and you acknowledge them and thank them for doing their job. You hear the damaged self and understand him, he´s there to take the hits and suffering that life will always throw at you and the only thing he wants is... to be recognized and thanked for his work, that he does so well and always will. But most of us, what we do is... try to protect him! To keep him from doing his job. And there is the Controler or the Critic or Fear or the Ego... each with their job.
And if we all recognize them, we mature and get closer to full awareness and enlightment. What was great was that we spend a couple of hours seeing all these 'voices or players' and as you spend time listening to them and acknowledging them they mature and become less restless. And you get closer to your true self, to enlightment, to your Heart or whatever you want to call it. And in the end of the process we realize that we are one with universe. These voices represent everything that exists in the universe. and everybody and everything has them. And we are one with the universe.
And then in this state of greater awareness and closeness to the true universe or the true self we realise that we are an encarnation of the Universe, we are divine. And then we can ask ourselves: why was I put in this body? What specific gifts do I have to give the world? What are the unique strengths that I can offer? And also what is my passion? What makes me go wow?!
And then we can understand what we can give the world fulfilling ourserlves! Reaching our fulfilment and therefore contributing to the world's fulfilment.

This is the way I took it, personally, obviously each person can read it and take it differently. But at this stage in my life, these were the learnings for me.

What I really liked is learning and seeing how I can use meditation better and to help me better understand my purpose! The big question that has always been on my mind for the last couple of years.

How to live in purpose?

I'm feeling quite low...
Unmotivated is the key word.
What the hell am I doing with my life? What the hell do I want to do with my life?

I know that I have a full life in front of me. I do know that I can do whatever I want to do. I am extremely lucky in that I have always had food & shelter and all the chances to have an education. I have always landed good jobs. I have a strong supportive family. I have all the conditions to be happy.

But I just don't seem to be doing something that is motivating. Work is paramount to me. I want to be fulfiled my work.
But I don't know what is it that would fulfil me and give me daily joy.

How do you understand this? How can I discover what I would really want to do?
Can somebody help me?

Do I miss being abroad?

Spend the last 4 days abroad, back in the country and city where I lived for 4 years. I was really sad as I missed it so much...
I now feel like I am not living, as if people I used to go out with are living it out much more, experiencing more, getting stretched more.
And I am annoyed at work. Annoyed at people, no time for them. I miss the old job a lot. I was travelling, which I loved and I was working with people from differente nationalities which was great.

Perspective again

Hey!
Been out for a few days with some stomach problems. Really annoying as they kept me in bed for the entire weekend and made me miss a good friends wedding and a very big match, the final of the cup.
Being in bed the pain was annoying, I couldn't sit up or do anything just lie down and also had trouble falling asleep. There was also quite a bit of fever!
In all this, something was really strange. I was thinking that this could be something serious and bad... and at some stage I almost wished that it was so that I could stop my job and really think about my priorities and allign my life with them. It was definitely very clear that I wanted to stop what I am doing and do something else.
It's key to decide what I want to do (and agree with it deep down) and then go on and do it.
I realised that I was happy in my times abroad. Even though they were difficult, I was driven by an inner sense and strength? I wanted to do it and I was living life?
I felt good, I felt I was experiencing things, I was becoming more experienced and at the same time I became much more myself: as I saw different ways of working and above all different attitudes to life, I was much more able to see what I was doing, what was due to my personality and what was due to social conditioning.

Ups and downs

It's been a week of ups and downs.
Mainly at work, some good stuff matched by some not so good stuff. End of last week the MD said to me how impressed she was in how quickly I had won people over to my side since joining. But this week I felt I was loosing people's confidence: the KAM responsible criticized my department to the sales director and he has been showing himself a lot less supporting and believing.
I guess he is probably under a lot of pressure due to the poor sales results.
With my team again mixed feelings. I sometimes wonder how serious and responsible they are, but on the other hand I had a good show of commitment from one of them in a meeting yesterday: passion, drive and commitment.
With the girlfriend things seem to really be chugging along: the bad weekend a while ago made us realize how much we want to be with each other and I think there are bigger chances we will go for it. We will probably plan our next moves this weekend, as she is coming over.

Quote to make you think...

'A rough road leads to the stars.'
NASA

Hey ho

Hey!
Lot has happened in the last few days.
Went out to a wedding abroad of a very good friend of mt girlfriend. It was... demanding.
I had to travel quite a bit by myself to get there and then argued quite a bit with the girlfriend. Still need to figure out what happened and how I feel about it. It was tough though, specially with not a lot of sleeping.
What I do know is that I felt really undervalued and generated quite a bit of insecurity.
We were close to splitting up and - this made me realise how my life is empty?! She is quite important to me, if we would split up, I would struggle.
Action:
- balance my life, I am definitely over-investing in work! Need other things, friends, sport, that I will value get more balance into my life!
- Work on purpose! What do I really want out of life. I have been thinking about this for such a long time - it really is time to start doing things about it, taking ACTION! Someone said there are a few characteristics of successful people: a VISION and TAKING ACTION are definitely among them.
- discuss and define next step with my girlfriend: we are living in different countries, it is probably about time we have a clear plan on what to do, next steps, etc
- above all, bear in mind: Whatever life throws at me, I will handle it!

Then got back and spent loads of time preparing a strategy review to the board, again working really late, not getting enough sleep...

Better

Things are better.
Had a big presentation last week. It was in front of all the department, so I was talking to roughly 150 people. It was my first time with this group, so it was important to perform.
I'm really happy with the way it went. I do enjoy presenting a lot and I do put my heart into it. Making it this way does have an impact on people.

On top of the good presentation, another good benefit was that I gained quite a bit of credibility with the team. They were really impressed with the way I presented and my impact on the other people. I also mentioned all of them in the presentation so it was good for them. The result is much more room for me to work on, they trust me more.

I know this doesn´t last very long but it buys me more time! And the chance for the real me to come out.
It also gave me more confidence.

How would you deal with this?

Still struggling with the new job. I find myself spending the day in meetings! No time to do the proper work that I have on my desk, but most of all no time to start puting my stamp on my team, as I need to.

The people in my team know their objectives. They know what we need to achieve, and what projects they have on their lap.
But they don't seem to move! They don't move and only wait for me to tell them what they need to do!!! I really struggle with this! I strongly think that more and more people need to think with their own head and get things moving. BEING PROACTIVE.
But what they are doing is complaining to each other... on how they are worried that they don't have a lot to do and are afraid that if there are job cuts they will be next... Come on!!! Grow up and do something about it!
I really feel like going to them and saying 'just bloody do something, just bloody move, it's your job, make something of it! Move, you know where you need to get to! So bloddy get on and start thinking how to get there! I'll be there to bounce ideas of, to unblock paths, to influence at higher lever, to secure budgets, to discuss and agree paths...'.
But if I am aggressive, I will just loose them, as they are quite fragile and with limited self confidence.

I am really annoyed but I guess this is the learning curve for managing people.

CURRENT LEARNING: I am being too nice. I need to be tougher on them and start demanding more. I need to hold them acocuntable more. To challenge them more. Set them targets. Set them clear objectives.

Local vs Global

Had a strategy preparation meeting. Basically the board asked us to present them our strategy and we are now preparing it. What surprises me: we have to do it by the 9th of May and we had the 1st meeting now! Why is it a 1 off thing instead of something that is done throughout the year and refined???
I ran the meeting as I was asked to overview the process. It went well but I am quite disapointed. Coming from a central job, everything was much more planned and thought off and now... it is much more done rushing, not very professionally or in depth! And this is what is supposed to guide this business for the next years, until 2010 at least!!!!
I did not enjoy it and feel a bit disapointed.

On the positive side, I really was in the zone in the meeting. I ran it very well, was really confident and managed timings, etc being able to stop some side discussions etc and get people to focus on the key topics. I am really happy that I was able to summarize key points and put them down as sometimes people drifted off topic. To be honest, I almost did not recognize myself! Definitely scored a few points with the Md.

Madman

Been working like a madman on the new job...
After 5 years working in relatively more structured businesses I now find myself back in a local business where every and anything happens... It is chaotic.
I am struggling a bit.
With my team I seem to be putting out fires all the time, but I think it is a good sign, it's a sign that things are moving along and progressing!
Apart from that... it really is messy.

I guess it is an experience! it can help me understand what I like and what I don't like!

Farewell part II

The following day, they got everyone in our floor together at 9.30 am and did a little thank you speech to me!
My boss did it and he was really nice. It came as a surprise as in big businesses things do tend to move on quite quickly, usually there are no thank yous, etc
The nicest part was him starting the speech and also finishing it on the same topic: of this not being goodbye as they would love for me to return. It really really made me feel great. I guess the best thing to happen when you leave is for people to value your work and say that you will be missed and the door is open! I am really happy and proud about it!
He went on about all the jobs and assignments I had taken in the last years, and described me as a highly professional manager. I was really moved, as there was a high number of people there, I really felt touched and proud.
The best part of all... came later when I was wrapping up the handover to another colleague. The night before he had taken the train home with my boss (who will be his boss) and he mentioned to him that it was a shame that I was leaving and that he will aim to get me back! It's hard to describe how well that made me feel!!!

I also had a final chat with my boss and his boss: it was really nice, they asked me a lot about my new projects and were really interested. It was quite good, as some of the stuff I will be working on is quite interesting for them, potential business opportunities.

As I write it's Tuesday, yesterday was officially my final day in the old job and have to admit I do feel... nostalgic.
It is difficult to leave a place where you are valued and at a stage where you are quite confortable with the work you are doing, you know the stuff and get things moving quickly and easy. Specially when you move into a new area, where you will be totally out of your depth and a bit lost.
But end of the day, I guess that is the way to learn and grow as an individual and as a manager. I hope I am going to enjoy this new trip.

Farewell part I

This Thursday and Friday did the final handover meetings in my previous job. It was... much better than what I had antecipated.
The first day I handed over to this new guy who is hugely arrogant. He got the job because... his wife is the daughter of a big shot. These things happen, even in large blue chips! I struggle with it, really, specially because this particular guy doesn't show anything apart from the capacity to rub people the wrong way.
Well, we got along and I did a professional handover, as I'm used to, preparing all the files and fully taking him through everything, finishing with my personal learnings and advice on next steps and how to progress. My boss was gonna join for an intro, he came on the run as I was 10 minutes into handing over and... I realised he was surprised that I was actually doing it this way. I guess in his experience most people just wanna move along and really do not care about the previous job. He left to leave us to it and only returned when I was finished.

Then he organised a farewell dinner for me. The turnout was low as most people were travelling (as usual) but he really made an effort, and it turned out to be a cool dinner! We had fun. I valued this as most of them spend most of their time travelling and away from home, so making the effort to come out when they are on their home town close to their wifes and kids... is valuable.

Part II to come soon.

Progress report

Things are progressing in my new job.
Had individual meetings with each of the team members and also had the 1st team meeting where I took the lead.
Today we held the 1st business review, with invitees from other departments. It went really well, it's great to have a good start, as everyone was really upbeat afterwards. It builded confidence and momentum.

I'm getting the 1st challenges of being a line manager. One of my direct reports was supposed to prepare some charts for the business review. As we met the day before the review, the work done was appaling. Even though the report has an agreed early finishing time and has kids to take care of, I had to hold the person accountable. She had to work late and take stuff home. It made me quite unconfortable, I hated doing it, but I guess you have to make points early on. Specially because she had loads of time to prepare the info.
It's uncomfortable but I am learning!!! This is why I wanted to get people management experience. To learn, and to become a better manager!

Confidence

Got away with it...! Managed the board meeting blagging my way through...
What I've really realized in the last years in my career is that if you are confident in your abilities and show it, you can get anything through.

Put things in perspective

Have a board meeting today. I should have prepared something for it which I did not do... because the deadline given to me was mental and simply because I really don't fancy the work.
I could have worked yesterday until late night, but really did not feel like it. It is a change: I am more important than work. So I chose to go to bed and get some sleep!
I went to the doctor who said I was tired and needed a break... so I tried to get it.

Let's see how I will cope with the board.
I'll probably be honest and say I simply did not have time to do this.
And get a bollocking.
But there is more to life and I don't need this hassle. Put things in perspective.
AS I have just heard yesterday... a high school friend of mine commited suicide a few days ago... that really puts things in perspective!

A couple of other good friends are going in opposite directions: one is getting married, another one is getting a divorce. Funny that so early on my friends are already getting divorced.

Corporate Athlete

Read a bit of a book about managing your energy. It mentions that we should balance moments of spending energy with moments of recharging.
In a study of top performers in tennis, one of the findings was how the top players behaved in between points. In these 15 second breaks, there was a finding that the really successful players have rituals of behaviour - they seem to use these breaks to relax and recharge.
A famous golf player also said, that his focus increasingly sharpens reaching total focus as he swings. After the stroke, he fully relaxes, lets his mind wander and chats to other players or the caddie as he walks to the next hole. As he approaches it, his focus starts building up again...

By building these little breaks, they manage to extend the periods of high performance. Without these breaks, our mind woul get fuzzier as times progresses and we would get much more tired, much earlier.

And there are 2 key things that influence our energy levels: food and also our breathing.
Personally, I will build short breaks for relaxed deep breathing. A few minutes every 2 hours or so.

Anxiety and work

Quite anxious last night, had trouble to fall asleep. Why? Don't know.
Maybe because things are falling into place in the new role, and I will start to be under pressure pretty soon.
Maybe because of my girlfriend situation, we are living in different countries and it is difficult to manage such a relationship.
Maybe because I am not a 100% sure on what I want to do professionally.

Today, I was approached again by a large multinational who made me a job offer a few months ago. They proposed to me something else, a very high responsibility role... (!)
I am happy and excited about the current job. Thing is money is really low (in this proposition of today I would be making more than double the money), but above all I think I will miss the international exposure. And... will I really be stretched in my new role.

What I really want professionally is:
- to enjoy my daily work, do something that gives me pleasure and is meaningful
- to continuously grow, daily improving and becoming a better worker and manager

VISION

Had a few more days on the new job.
I'm enjoying it, I think there is a lot I can do, I can really get things going and make a difference. In the new job, I believe I can shape the face of the country where I live! That is pretty powerful!
Being upbeat and positive has a huge impact on the people working for/with me. I think they are enjoying it. My only concern is that I am being too nice and positive... might make things difficult when I will need to put my foot down. But let's see. I am aware of this which is good.
And I need to remain aware, as I am getting the clear feeling that some of the people working here do need th sharpen up, to get more responsible and proactive, to start feeling ownership of things! I will bring this on to the team.
I think a good way to do it is for us to create and share a vision of what we want to go. That is really powerful.

Update!

Sunday.
I have started picking up new projects slowly in the new role, at the same time as I handover the current one to a colleage.
It was amazing the 1st day of my handover: it made me realize only then how much I had done! How much work I had gone through and how much I progressed the projects I worked on.
Nevertheless, even though I think I will really miss the travelling aspect of it as well as the contact with international people, I feel ok about dropping the current projects. They are flying, doing really well and are high profile, but I am ok.

The new job seems cool and the team should be nice to manage. And I think I can really add value to the business.

Tomorrow... I have a job interview though!
It came a few weeks ago. I wouldn't even consider it if it wasn't in an area that as always appealed to me: management consulting. I was approached by an head hunter. My take is to see how such an interview goes, what is it like and... will I really be tempted by it.

It is also an opportunity to go back to the country where I lived for 4 years, 1 year ago. Don't know how much of that does play a part.

Let' find out. The only way is to go out and do it!

Quote

Though it comes from a figure that is definitely not consensual (I am not sure about my opinion of her myself), it is a really good and inspiring quote:

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing. It's when you've had everything to do and you've done it."
Margaret Tatcher

NEW role analysis

Interesting to check my expectations before moving fully into the new job. It'll be cool to check in a few months time.

What attracts me in the NEW role?
- local job, close to the market, real pressure on achieving figures. That will make it easier on me to get passionate about it
- people management: taking on the responsibility of managin 4/5 people. Getting to know them, getting them to respect me, building a strong team, with good values. We will support each other and fight together, work together, cry and laugh together, celebrate our achievements together!
- it's a board role, it'll give me the opportunity to sit on the board and understand how directors operate and think. And test myself against them. And prove how good I am!
- Innovation: deliver new things to the market. Make great stuff that can change the scenario in the country where I live and where I was born!!!
- broaden my experience by being exposed to a couple of different categories and also another side of marketing that I don't really know

What may I struggle with?
- politics and the power of personal relationships
- lack of efficiency in the local organisations
- people relations more important than results
- it'll take time to understand the new categories and ways of operating
- longer days at least in the first 8-10 months, until I establish my credibility and power within the board
- lack of travelling?
- lack of international contacts??
- less international exposure and job opportunities?

Old job: likes and dislikes?

This exercise can help me in deepening my understanding of what I want to do, what is my passion.

What did I like in the job that I am about to leave? What did I enjoy? What will I miss?
- contact with people from all over the world. Talk to them, understand how they live, their ambitions and dreams. How they work.
- travelling, being in different countries, visiting different cities, seeing different lifestyles
- the people. Overall relaxed, nice and driven. Good professionals, efficient. I could learn from them
- status: I was very respected and somewhat feared. People wanted to please me. Though I do think this comes not only from the job but also from my personal characteristics (I am a good presenter and have good presence in meetings, Also having been there for a few years and having multiple country and category experiences makes me quite confident and at ease in some discussions)
- time and independence: I was managing my own agenda and could do what I wanted to
- other people: if they were good (eg tech people, mkt research...) they would get on with their work, I would only have to ensure that they were doing what was needed
- the resources: being on global projects money was never an issue, whatever kind of research needed doing... it would be done!

What didn't I like?
- not knowing how to progress some projects, what is the next action?
- lobby: one of the tech centers was mainly composed of people from 1 nationality, often I would be the odd one out. As I don't speak that language, they wouldn´t mind and chat away. Also, this country was becoming leader and gaining full power in Europe...
- tired?! I've been in this business for years!! I've seen it and was not in any way passionate about it anymore. It wasn´t firing me up anymore. And I don't want that.
- Feel old on the job. I was there for donkeys years, people were coming and going and I was there.
- Future perspectives: I was in the best role, in order to be promoted into a director role in a couple of years. Now... even it sounds attractive, that does not motivate me. Seeing myself as a director in a European country doesn't really appeal to me.
- Career: for years and years there have been rumours that my company could potentially divest from the area where I work. Also, it is a quite specific market and business. Let's say I would be out of a job in a couple of years. My perspectives could be quite grim as my experience was narrow. So I really need to broaden my experience!!!

Motivations

My successor in the current job has been appointed... I know the guy, he's cool, I came into the company at the same time as him, we've recently even worked together in a project. He'll do well.
How do I feel? A bit f****d really... Even though it has been my choice, I am not really happy about it. I do think that I wasn't really that happy while doing that job but... I'm afraid that I will even like the new one less. I had my first meeting this week and it was a bloody nightmare. Total lack of efficiency, an intricate network of personal relationships and powergames... Christ.
I guess it happens everywhere, it is human nature. The thing at this stage is that I am not fully motivated and passionate about the new job. I am not fully convinced myself.
And I need to be. If I am, I'll tackle any issue and become a major success in this role. But is that role what I want to do?
It is paramound in today´s world that you are fully engaged in what you do. After all, what is the point? Life is short, you gotta enjoy it and make the most of it.

My struggle has been to find out my purpose. What I want to do. What will fire me up. I'll give a go to this new challenge and find out what I like about it.

Another great book: 'The wolf of Wall Street'

I'm reading a crackin book: ' The wolf of Wall Street' by Jordan Belfort.
It's the autobiography of Jordan Belfort, who at 31 was a top broker in Wall Street, raking in fortunes. Having started really young as an apprentice, he moved all the way up until he created is own company that became a leading one in Wall Street.
With a beatiful model for a wife, Jordan was making millions a month... most of the times not using the most 'acceptable tactics', finding ways around rules, legislations and laws, and most of the time breaking them... His personal life was absolutely mental! He was consuming hundreds of drugs, frequently using prostitutes, and in the process destroying his boat, helichopter...
Working for his company was everything but the 'normal 9 to 5'. The stories are hilarious.

Now you might have heard this story before. The catchy part of this book is the way it is written. Fully honest, this guy is also extremely funny, providing a really cracking read. The writing is really good and straightforward.

Really, just pick it up in a book store and read a couple of pages. I haven't been able to put it down.

Greener grass - part II

I spoke to my current boss right now. He's a really nice guy, although he's been quite pissed off at me because I decided to move to another department. It seems that finally he is very close to nominating a successor, the person that will replace me.
Although it was my choice, I still felt a bit annoyed at being replaced...
It's normal, as you can never be sure of the choices you make, you don't know how things will work out. Fortunately I never regret decisions that I have made: as I know they were the best decisions at the time, with the information I had at the moment.
I'm leaving a great role, where I was in full control, but wasn't really happy, wasn't really fulfilled.
So, I am risking it, even going for a job that might be less visible, but I am giving it a go. Life is short.

The grass is always greener?

I received today a call from a headhunter with a really interesting job opportunity.
Location: back in the country where I was before as an expat, in one of the most thriving (and also competitive cities in the world).

In the last couple of months I have been thinking if I am missing my old life. The competitiveness, the speed, the night life... It was my decision to return home, over an year ago.

I guess that now that I can probably have both worlds and choose, it will be a good opportunity to find out what I really want.

It is interesting that we always seem to want what we don't have. And most of the times we never really value what we have until it is gone.

Back & re-energised?

I'm back!
The break was actually quite cool. I was in Madrid and got to go our with a few expats living there. I really enjoyed going out with them and I felt really at home. I have been an expat myself, so I really related to them.

I loved the feeling of being with people living abroad. I find it quite exciting. Discovering a new place to live, creating new habits, finding out lots of different things. The adventure.

I ended up missing it a lot.

For 1 year now, I am back at the place where I lived most of my life, after 4 years abroad. And although I really wanted to come back home, I haven't really been happy since I was back.
I don't have energy. I'm quite bored and am not getting excited. I need excitement to be happy. I need to feel challenged and really want something, to thrive after an objective.

What is missing??
- is it the fact that I lost most of my social life here, since most my friends are now married and don't really go out anymore?
- is it the fact that I am back living with my parents? And I really enjoyed and need to be back on my own place?
- is it that I miss the excitement of living abroad? Of living in one of the most dynamic cities in the world?
- is it that I need to do something totally new, in terms of job and career? That I need a radical change, a radical challenge?
- is it that I am in love with a girl that does not give me the confidence that is so important to me?
- is it a bit of everything?

What next steps can I take to change???
I am already moving jobs soon. I am currently doing a European job and am moving to a local one, that will hopefully enable me to spend more time at home and rebuild my professional life. But on the other hand I am really scared that I will terribly miss the international contact. And all the flying and getting to know new people and new places.

It's quite messy my life now.

Linking up, rebuilding bonds

Just one more before I go!
I organised a dinner last night with my sisters. Due to travelling, kids, etc, etc, etc we haven't really been spending time as just the brothers and sisters.
So I organised this dinner.
It was really cool and relaxing. Really nice as we felt like being back to years and years ago when we were all kids and all lived together. We were very transparent, just behaving like ourselves.
Even though we didn't discuss any problems each one is facing, we just relaxed and laughed, it was quite good and reassuring to feel part of this family, that you feel will be there forever.
I think the learning is to make an effort and remember to keep nurturing this.

Holidays

Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna take a small break, off to Spain with a friend.
Although I feel like staying in, catching up on all the reading I want to do and also do a bit of exercise...
But it is important to make an effort and be with friends. It's an investment. Have fun, relax, forget about everything and just party!

Thinking with clarity

I have been remembering the Maslow pyramid more and more recently.
It's true that your whole self does focus on filling your basic needs.
It is amazing. I've had a good couple of days, where work was ok and I was with someone I really love, that showed also how much she loved me. And with this well being, all my thoughts were a bit clearer, I had quite a few good ideas, I was much more creative and innovative.

Book Tip: 'Night Train to Lisbon' by Pascal Mercier. Very good writing, reminds me of 'Shadow of the Wind'...

Thoughts

How do you bring more clarity into your thinking?
I wish I knew.
I have been battling with thoughts about a woman I have loved for over a year now.
I wish I could be clearer, to know what is best and what route would lead to better destinies.

A good quote

"Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can."
Vince Lombardi

My generation I find is somewhere in between. I know people who are fully settled, own a house, kids and so on and just want to guarantee they have enough money to live confortably and afford some nice holidays and trips.
Some other people are trully looking to chase their dreams.

I have been educated in the sense that you need to graduate and find a good job in a good company. That is how I started my professional life.
But as I experienced more, including living in a foreign country, I am realizing that something is missing.

I really would like to work with a sense of purpose. I spend most hours in the day working - it should be meaningful!

What I have been doing for quite a while is trying to find out what gives me pleasure, what fulfills me.
I have read countless books, went to seminaries...
What is working best for me is scouring a diary that I have written for the last 5 years. It's giving me much more insight on what I value and like.
But still haven't cracked what I really want to do.
So I keep looking and trying.

"When work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery."
Maxim Gorky

Nothing is more true.
There is another similar quote, whose basic learning is the secret of life is to find out what you really love doing and then find someone to pay you to do it!

The truth is that the work-life reality has changed dramatically. The generation before mine wanted and needed a job to then be abble to buy a house, send kids to college, etc
The generation after mine is so much more focused on doing what they want. And finding somewhere to work that suits their desires and values. And simply if it doesn't, they'll go and find something to do that'll fit them.
People are so much more affluent that money is not a need anymore. They jump to the next need, of 'spiritual' fullfilment?

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Mark Twain

I love this quote.

Moving jobs

I am changing jobs this month, remaining with the same company but changing department. Although I have spent many years in the same department where I progressed quickly and was looked at as a top talent, I have decided to move.

I love the current place where I work, good atmosphere and camaraderie but was getting bored with the function and was always travelling. I wasn't enjoying myself that much.

Also, I find that in today's world, more than ever, you need to diversify your career a little bit, to make yourself more valuable in the market place...

I'm quite scared about the new role, as it is quite different and I am risking a lot. And it will involve a lot more politics, which I am not so confortable doing but guess I need to learn to progress?

Interesting is that: now that I know that I am leaving the current job, I am much more efficient and get a lot more done on it. I am much more confident to address people that I previously found difficult.
Why can't I have this efficiency, or this confidence before, when it was a regular day-2-day job? Because acting this way makes me enjoy the job so much more.

Just act. It's a people's world. Things progress by talking to people and making things happen.

I'll commit to speak with open heart.
To share my thoughts and experiences with you. Simply and plainly as I see them and experience.
And hopefully I can learn from it.