Hey ho

Hey!
Lot has happened in the last few days.
Went out to a wedding abroad of a very good friend of mt girlfriend. It was... demanding.
I had to travel quite a bit by myself to get there and then argued quite a bit with the girlfriend. Still need to figure out what happened and how I feel about it. It was tough though, specially with not a lot of sleeping.
What I do know is that I felt really undervalued and generated quite a bit of insecurity.
We were close to splitting up and - this made me realise how my life is empty?! She is quite important to me, if we would split up, I would struggle.
Action:
- balance my life, I am definitely over-investing in work! Need other things, friends, sport, that I will value get more balance into my life!
- Work on purpose! What do I really want out of life. I have been thinking about this for such a long time - it really is time to start doing things about it, taking ACTION! Someone said there are a few characteristics of successful people: a VISION and TAKING ACTION are definitely among them.
- discuss and define next step with my girlfriend: we are living in different countries, it is probably about time we have a clear plan on what to do, next steps, etc
- above all, bear in mind: Whatever life throws at me, I will handle it!

Then got back and spent loads of time preparing a strategy review to the board, again working really late, not getting enough sleep...

Better

Things are better.
Had a big presentation last week. It was in front of all the department, so I was talking to roughly 150 people. It was my first time with this group, so it was important to perform.
I'm really happy with the way it went. I do enjoy presenting a lot and I do put my heart into it. Making it this way does have an impact on people.

On top of the good presentation, another good benefit was that I gained quite a bit of credibility with the team. They were really impressed with the way I presented and my impact on the other people. I also mentioned all of them in the presentation so it was good for them. The result is much more room for me to work on, they trust me more.

I know this doesn´t last very long but it buys me more time! And the chance for the real me to come out.
It also gave me more confidence.

How would you deal with this?

Still struggling with the new job. I find myself spending the day in meetings! No time to do the proper work that I have on my desk, but most of all no time to start puting my stamp on my team, as I need to.

The people in my team know their objectives. They know what we need to achieve, and what projects they have on their lap.
But they don't seem to move! They don't move and only wait for me to tell them what they need to do!!! I really struggle with this! I strongly think that more and more people need to think with their own head and get things moving. BEING PROACTIVE.
But what they are doing is complaining to each other... on how they are worried that they don't have a lot to do and are afraid that if there are job cuts they will be next... Come on!!! Grow up and do something about it!
I really feel like going to them and saying 'just bloody do something, just bloody move, it's your job, make something of it! Move, you know where you need to get to! So bloddy get on and start thinking how to get there! I'll be there to bounce ideas of, to unblock paths, to influence at higher lever, to secure budgets, to discuss and agree paths...'.
But if I am aggressive, I will just loose them, as they are quite fragile and with limited self confidence.

I am really annoyed but I guess this is the learning curve for managing people.

CURRENT LEARNING: I am being too nice. I need to be tougher on them and start demanding more. I need to hold them acocuntable more. To challenge them more. Set them targets. Set them clear objectives.

Local vs Global

Had a strategy preparation meeting. Basically the board asked us to present them our strategy and we are now preparing it. What surprises me: we have to do it by the 9th of May and we had the 1st meeting now! Why is it a 1 off thing instead of something that is done throughout the year and refined???
I ran the meeting as I was asked to overview the process. It went well but I am quite disapointed. Coming from a central job, everything was much more planned and thought off and now... it is much more done rushing, not very professionally or in depth! And this is what is supposed to guide this business for the next years, until 2010 at least!!!!
I did not enjoy it and feel a bit disapointed.

On the positive side, I really was in the zone in the meeting. I ran it very well, was really confident and managed timings, etc being able to stop some side discussions etc and get people to focus on the key topics. I am really happy that I was able to summarize key points and put them down as sometimes people drifted off topic. To be honest, I almost did not recognize myself! Definitely scored a few points with the Md.

Madman

Been working like a madman on the new job...
After 5 years working in relatively more structured businesses I now find myself back in a local business where every and anything happens... It is chaotic.
I am struggling a bit.
With my team I seem to be putting out fires all the time, but I think it is a good sign, it's a sign that things are moving along and progressing!
Apart from that... it really is messy.

I guess it is an experience! it can help me understand what I like and what I don't like!

Farewell part II

The following day, they got everyone in our floor together at 9.30 am and did a little thank you speech to me!
My boss did it and he was really nice. It came as a surprise as in big businesses things do tend to move on quite quickly, usually there are no thank yous, etc
The nicest part was him starting the speech and also finishing it on the same topic: of this not being goodbye as they would love for me to return. It really really made me feel great. I guess the best thing to happen when you leave is for people to value your work and say that you will be missed and the door is open! I am really happy and proud about it!
He went on about all the jobs and assignments I had taken in the last years, and described me as a highly professional manager. I was really moved, as there was a high number of people there, I really felt touched and proud.
The best part of all... came later when I was wrapping up the handover to another colleague. The night before he had taken the train home with my boss (who will be his boss) and he mentioned to him that it was a shame that I was leaving and that he will aim to get me back! It's hard to describe how well that made me feel!!!

I also had a final chat with my boss and his boss: it was really nice, they asked me a lot about my new projects and were really interested. It was quite good, as some of the stuff I will be working on is quite interesting for them, potential business opportunities.

As I write it's Tuesday, yesterday was officially my final day in the old job and have to admit I do feel... nostalgic.
It is difficult to leave a place where you are valued and at a stage where you are quite confortable with the work you are doing, you know the stuff and get things moving quickly and easy. Specially when you move into a new area, where you will be totally out of your depth and a bit lost.
But end of the day, I guess that is the way to learn and grow as an individual and as a manager. I hope I am going to enjoy this new trip.