Sunday 29 November 2009

Learnings from the assignment

Learnings from the job assignment I am going through:
- fantastic start with loads of energy and will to do stuff. Great impact on people around me, really impressed most people and energised the ones that work with me. Great energy, working late and doing stuff, moving things forward
- I was cool with everything, there was no pressure, the expectation was just that I would manage things until the person I was replacing would come back
- a few weeks later, I started to worry... one driver could be that I had a chat with my boss and I told him that I would like to stay and he said we would like me to stay. So the pressure mounted... I put that pressure on myself!
- Then... the energy started going. For a few weeks (more!) I was trying to stay afloat! Not to sink. Not to defraud expectations from others... this was in fact one of the key concerns
- performance started going down, I was always more cautious. I was a lot more concerned about what people would think. I was not as decisive. I wasn't energising the people around me. I was having a few clashes with some people reporting to me.
- chat with my boss... he didn't seem as keen as having me stay as before. He talked a bit more about the person I replaced.
- This chat moved me to another level in my mind. Took the pressure off 'ok... so I'm not getting the job. So I don't care. I'll just move things.'
- and... now for instance instead of spending Sunday fretting about the work I sould be doing and which I would only pick like really at the end of the day and for 1 hour (to float... not to sink)... now: I don't care. I think I am the most important thing, me, the most important person. So I'm gonna do stuff that I want to do, get out instead of staying at home, thinking about work I should be doing or 'resting' (not really) to recharge for work. And after going out I'll probably do some work, but I am sure I'll do it with a much more positive attitude and I will get more done and take more pleasure out of it.

Learn from this!!!
How can I get rid of that pressure I put on myself?