Friday 30 May 2008

Meditation and Life purpose

In the last year or so I have attended a meditation course and have dabbled at meditation. I like it quite a lot, for me personally the most useful part is to listen to myself more. Be more aware of the voices I have inside me and the impact they have. More awareness and living more in the moment.
It's been really useful, it also helps me to know more. And sometimes in the middle of meditation I just get random thoughts that are kind of wow moments. Either self knowledge or some solutions or things that I can do.
Recently though I have been to a workshop called Big Mind Big Heart. It's a process, based on meditation but very practical. It's more like a game where you recognize all the 'players' or voices inside you and you acknowledge them and thank them for doing their job. You hear the damaged self and understand him, he´s there to take the hits and suffering that life will always throw at you and the only thing he wants is... to be recognized and thanked for his work, that he does so well and always will. But most of us, what we do is... try to protect him! To keep him from doing his job. And there is the Controler or the Critic or Fear or the Ego... each with their job.
And if we all recognize them, we mature and get closer to full awareness and enlightment. What was great was that we spend a couple of hours seeing all these 'voices or players' and as you spend time listening to them and acknowledging them they mature and become less restless. And you get closer to your true self, to enlightment, to your Heart or whatever you want to call it. And in the end of the process we realize that we are one with universe. These voices represent everything that exists in the universe. and everybody and everything has them. And we are one with the universe.
And then in this state of greater awareness and closeness to the true universe or the true self we realise that we are an encarnation of the Universe, we are divine. And then we can ask ourselves: why was I put in this body? What specific gifts do I have to give the world? What are the unique strengths that I can offer? And also what is my passion? What makes me go wow?!
And then we can understand what we can give the world fulfilling ourserlves! Reaching our fulfilment and therefore contributing to the world's fulfilment.

This is the way I took it, personally, obviously each person can read it and take it differently. But at this stage in my life, these were the learnings for me.

What I really liked is learning and seeing how I can use meditation better and to help me better understand my purpose! The big question that has always been on my mind for the last couple of years.

Tuesday 27 May 2008

How to live in purpose?

I'm feeling quite low...
Unmotivated is the key word.
What the hell am I doing with my life? What the hell do I want to do with my life?

I know that I have a full life in front of me. I do know that I can do whatever I want to do. I am extremely lucky in that I have always had food & shelter and all the chances to have an education. I have always landed good jobs. I have a strong supportive family. I have all the conditions to be happy.

But I just don't seem to be doing something that is motivating. Work is paramount to me. I want to be fulfiled my work.
But I don't know what is it that would fulfil me and give me daily joy.

How do you understand this? How can I discover what I would really want to do?
Can somebody help me?

Monday 26 May 2008

Do I miss being abroad?

Spend the last 4 days abroad, back in the country and city where I lived for 4 years. I was really sad as I missed it so much...
I now feel like I am not living, as if people I used to go out with are living it out much more, experiencing more, getting stretched more.
And I am annoyed at work. Annoyed at people, no time for them. I miss the old job a lot. I was travelling, which I loved and I was working with people from differente nationalities which was great.

Monday 19 May 2008

Perspective again

Hey!
Been out for a few days with some stomach problems. Really annoying as they kept me in bed for the entire weekend and made me miss a good friends wedding and a very big match, the final of the cup.
Being in bed the pain was annoying, I couldn't sit up or do anything just lie down and also had trouble falling asleep. There was also quite a bit of fever!
In all this, something was really strange. I was thinking that this could be something serious and bad... and at some stage I almost wished that it was so that I could stop my job and really think about my priorities and allign my life with them. It was definitely very clear that I wanted to stop what I am doing and do something else.
It's key to decide what I want to do (and agree with it deep down) and then go on and do it.
I realised that I was happy in my times abroad. Even though they were difficult, I was driven by an inner sense and strength? I wanted to do it and I was living life?
I felt good, I felt I was experiencing things, I was becoming more experienced and at the same time I became much more myself: as I saw different ways of working and above all different attitudes to life, I was much more able to see what I was doing, what was due to my personality and what was due to social conditioning.

Friday 9 May 2008

Ups and downs

It's been a week of ups and downs.
Mainly at work, some good stuff matched by some not so good stuff. End of last week the MD said to me how impressed she was in how quickly I had won people over to my side since joining. But this week I felt I was loosing people's confidence: the KAM responsible criticized my department to the sales director and he has been showing himself a lot less supporting and believing.
I guess he is probably under a lot of pressure due to the poor sales results.
With my team again mixed feelings. I sometimes wonder how serious and responsible they are, but on the other hand I had a good show of commitment from one of them in a meeting yesterday: passion, drive and commitment.
With the girlfriend things seem to really be chugging along: the bad weekend a while ago made us realize how much we want to be with each other and I think there are bigger chances we will go for it. We will probably plan our next moves this weekend, as she is coming over.

Thursday 1 May 2008

Quote to make you think...

'A rough road leads to the stars.'
NASA